Alright, stick with me here. This may be a bit of a brain dump.
Fear is something I never really thought about. As a kid, I would be afraid of the usual “monsters under the bed”, but never found myself really afraid of too much. I did have a lot of anxiety as a kid though. I worried about my friends. I felt things more than most kids. However most of this came from over analyzing my surroundings and feeling that stress. I’ve done some overwhelming and scary things in life, but I feel like the definition and feeling of fear never overwhelmed me.
You know that icky feeling you get inside when you let fear dictate your decisions? Super gross. It gets confusing and messy. It feels off and negative.
Why? Because our souls want to be dictated by love. I want to forget what it feels like to be hurt. And when fear of risk takes over, I pull back. From what might or could be.
Ever wonder what’s on the other side of judgement? The other side of risk and fear? You can’t always see the other side: sometimes it’s a ditch to fall in. But you don’t know, it could be what you’ve been waiting for all this time.
This is a HARD one to overcome. But I am working on it. Even as surface level as fitness goals: I’m often fearful of failing. I signed up for a 10 mile race this last weekend. In the past, I never would have considered it. I’d have been way to afraid of not finishing, failing, falling, and letting others down. But that just felt so icky inside. I let it go, brushed it off, and hit “confirm”. There was the other side. And it felt awesome.
I think this can apply to a lot of things. A lot of things I happen to be sorting through right now. So here’s to letting love and light dictate decisions.