Three years ago I was scared to death and functioning on approximately 3 hours of sleep a night for the past month. I felt like I was living someone else’s life. I was just surviving, and not really living. I had been through a lot in just a few short months. My shit was packed. My mom was there, ready to set out on a two day one way road trip that would end in Philadelphia – a city I had only visited twice. There, I would start a new like. Not only would it be city living (something I had never done) but I was starting a new job, and had no friends. The whole time, as scared as I was, I knew that something better was waiting for me. I just had to make it happen.
Looking back, I realize a few things:
1. Life starts at the end of your comfort zone.
I could easily still be in the same job, relationship, and situation. Get uncomfortable. Do something that scares the crap out of you. Do that thing that has always been in the back of your head. That feeling that keeps holding you back is fear – squash it.
2. You have to get knocked down by life to truly know what you’re made of.
Everyone’s struggle is different. I’m sure the universe has a scale of who has it worst, and who has it best but the good thing is none of us are aware of that number. We have our own stuff to handle and carry. I had so many days in early 2012 where I said “what ELSE is going to go wrong?”. I’m thankful for that crap now. I got through it. I know what I’m made of. I know what is important to me, and what I am not willing to sacrifice. I would never have come face to face with a lot of those decisions if it wasn’t for the crap.
3. Know who will always have your back.
I know lots of people. I even have lots of friends. I also know who will text me every day to check on me. Who will fly/drive to Philadelphia because they know I need them. I remember calling my mom from a hotel room while I was looking for an apartment saying “I don’t know if I can do this”. She said, “What do you mean? You ARE doing it. You’ve got this”. Cherish these people. Tell them how thankful you are for them.
4. The strength that comes from surviving a difficult time will stay with you always.
Every day I reflect on the strength it took to do what I did. I don’t always feel strong, but I know it is there. I am thankful for it. It is what got me started on my health and fitness journey. I am happy and healthy. If you’re in the midst of a tough time, know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That strength is something no one can take away from you.
5. You’ll cry in the bathroom. It is ok.
We all cry in the bathroom. You are not alone. In fact, I did it this week. There’s beauty in that too.